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Stupid Thing Title:
  Why Jehovah's Witnesses do not come to my door anymore

Stupid Thing Text:
  We were in the backyard on a nice summer day doing lawn work. The dog, a terrier, who was chained-up on a 30-foot chain in the yard, began barking a lot. We knew something was up.

Then we saw one of those Jehovah's Witness guys walking from our front walk, down the sidewalk. He was wearing a suit and had a bible in his hand.

The dog hated strangers, especially men, and charged at the man, barking and growling like the the dog was going to mawl him.

We didn't think anything about it at first, because this was normal behavior for the dog. It was always full of energy and barked a lot anyway. And after all, he was chained-up. So we were not alarmed.

The dog must have really scared the Jehovah's Witness person, because the man began to run. That was the absolute worst thing he could have done. It made the dog insane.

The dog ran faster at him, broke the chain, and then ran full speed at him, barking and growling the whole time.

Now, the Jehovah's Witness man was running as fast as he could down the sidewalk toward the corner, while the dog chased after him. He looked like he was an olympic sprinter, except that he was wearing a suit and was carrying a bible.

So what did I do?

I laughed my ass off!

I figured maybe this would make them think twice before they came to our block again.

I did call the dog back once they got to the far corner. It was a close call. The dog almost got him.

And no, he never came back. And neither did the rest of them that were working the other side of the street.

True story.

  Posted By:    TheMatrix    02/14/2009 Category:    Pets/Animals
        Location:   Everywhere  
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Stupid Thing Comments
 Anniversary Dinner  
  On 9/11/13 was my friends 14th wedding anniversary. When she got home her husband was beside the grill and had T-bone steaks and potatoes, onions and mushrooms in foil grilling. After it was done they sat down to eat their anniversary dinner which was delicious by the way. When they were almost done her husband turned to her and told her that by the way I used up almost all of the onions. She looked at the bowl that held the onions and said what do you mean they are still in the bowl. He said no the ones out in the entryway that were in the bag. After her color came back and she was able to find her voice, she informed him that was not onions, but tulip, hyacinth and daffodil bulbs. Again after taking some time to recover she immediately got on the phone and called the local ER, which informed her that they "didn't think" that it would harm her. Not satisfied with that answer (who would be) she called poison control. After the lady at poison control was done chuckling, she asked the doctor if these were harmful and he informed her that no, she would be fine. Needless to say, she went to work the next day and shared this wonderful story with co-workers who couldn't stop laughing and put it on this website so everyone else could get a good laugh.

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